CHRIS MILLS’ 2004 CDT JOURNAL ENTRIES

 

 

Meryl’s journal:

            You have to understand, I’ve been hearing about this hike for almost 3 years.  I met Chris in August 2001 at my graduate program orientation.  Our introduction to one another basically went like this: “Hi, my name is Chris Mills.  I like to backpack.  I’m doing the CDT in 2004, wanna come?”  And somehow that was the best pick up line I’d ever heard and now we are engaged.  J  But you can imagine just how much thought and preparation went into this hike for Chris.  I’m coming out just to do the beginning part through Glacier with him and a couple of his friends he met while hiking the PCT in 2000.  I do hope it works out for him.  As for me, I’ll act as his support person- sending him resupply packages, maps, etc.  He left Washington DC in kind of a frenzy, so I hope everything is such that I’ll be able to figure out what needs to get sent where.  Well, I guess we’ll find out! 

            I’m feeling a little nervous about this hike.  More so for Chris than for myself.  I just hope it all works out and he can make it to Mexico and we make it through the long 6 months.  It’ll be lonely back in DC, but at least I’ll have work and law school to distract me.  Tomorrow the adventure begins… I best be heading to sleep…

 

[Chris’ Journal—in normal type]

Day 1, June 18th, Mile 11.3

 

            During the last couple days we’ve been staying in East Glacier, on the southern end of Glacier National Park, taking care of preparations for the hike.  My Dad was nice enough to drive me here and stick around while we all got things together.  I couldn’t have pulled this trip off without him. 

We drove to St. Mary yesterday and picked up the permit for the portion of the hike through Glacier National Park.  The Ranger warned us about snow, avalanche, fords, etc., but gave us the permit.  We have to carry bear cans, though—the heavy Garcia kind.  After getting the permit we stopped by an outdoor store to get Jesse outfitted to handle this trip.  He had no insulating jacket or rain gear.  I loaned him my fleece, he picked up some rain gear at the store, and he borrowed an ice axe and crampons from Mark, the owner of the motel we stayed in while in East Glacier (he was extremely helpful).  We headed back to the hotel room and began the process of getting everything packed up and of assembling the packages that needed to be mailed to the next couple resupply stops.  It was a stressful day and night, without much sleep.  This morning we left a bunch of luggage and food at Mark’s store (did I mention how helpful he was?) to pick up on our way through East Glacier after hiking the length of Glacier National Park. We had breakfast, finished getting packages together and mailed, and started the drive toward Waterton Lakes.  After driving about 10 minutes Tony asked if we all had our driver’s licenses to get across the border.  Jesse had left his in his wallet, which he left with his stuff in East Glacier, so we drove back and got it, then started the drive to the trailhead once more.  We got through customs without much of a problem and drove to the trailhead.  There we finished getting last minute things packed up and I said goodbye to my Dad and wished him a happy father’s day.  It was late—about 2pm, by the time we finally started hiking.  Jesse’s pack was a bit overloaded and we had to stop several times to readjust things.  At one stop we were passed by a couple that were day hiking that my Dad had talked to at the trailhead, so they knew of our CDT trip.  And they were passing us already!  Not a good sign if we are going to be hiking fast enough to get to Mexico. 

            At one point I had a brief verbal altercation with Tony in which he suggested I was being critical of how everyone else was doing things, which caught me off guard because I had felt that he was the one guilty of that.  Hopefully these sort of conflicts won’t continue or it could be a very long hike.  I did my best to keep my cool and ignore it, and we seemed to be getting along fine a few minutes later.

            We hiked along the bank of the lake, though most of the time it was obscured by trees.  After hiking about 4 and a half miles we came to the international boundary marked by two obelisks and a line of clearcuts about 20 feet wide that stretches along the entire 49th parallel and demarcates the boundary.  We took lots of photos to commemorate starting the hike at the border and then continued on.  We picked up the pace and rolled into the Goat Haunt Ranger Station at the southern end of Waterton Lake at about 6.  We made dinner there and checked in with the ranger.  We also met a guy who was doing a grizzly survey project.  He told us about the trees laced with wire that are designed to catch bear fur as they rub against the trees.  After leaving the Ranger station it did not take long before we saw some of the trees he was talking about.  We hiked very fast to do the 3 miles to our campsite and made it to Kootenai Lakes by about 9:45.  Because we are so far north it was still light out.  At the lake we saw moose!  It was the first time I had seen moose in the wild and it was very exciting.  None of them had big horns yet but they were still pretty cool looking.  And very tall!  We set up camp and set the bear cans out near the cooking area.  Now it is off to sleep.  It is only 9 miles tomorrow, but apparently a lot of climbing.

 

Meryl’s journal:

            Chris pretty accurately described our day.  I’d only like to add how interesting our group is.  For the past three years I’ve been hearing Chris stress about the ultralight approach to backpacking.  Every ounce had to be worth its weight in your pack.  He’s even made a bunch of his backpacking equipment- including his own backpack!  (Hehe, we had some arguments about him sewing so much in the weeks before he started the trail.  I was busy packing up our apartment in Durham so we could move to DC, and he was in the study sewing away his little stuff sacks and chapstick pockets.)  Anyways, I thought I had to be as anal about what I packed in my bag too, but I don’t know much about backpacking gear.  The first time Chris and I went hiking together was pretty awful- I got nasty blisters because my shoes didn’t fit right (I thought trail runners would be lighter than the hiking boots I was used to hiking in) and I was cold (couldn’t bring extra clothes because they might be extra weight!)  But I soon learned from this group of hikers that everyone has their own way of doing things.

            Tony is more of your old school type hiker.  He seems less concerned about weight and more concerned about having gear that he likes.  His bag looks pretty heavy, but he’s been in the military, so I’m sure it’s nothing compared to what he’s used to!  Jesse is more of a laid back hiker.  He hikes with whatever he has available to him.  Apparently he used a stick as a utensil for most of his PCT hike because he forgot to bring a spoon!  Chris is, as Tony affectionately put it, a gear head.  He likes talking about gear and reading about gear and making his gear.  It is pretty remarkable the stuff he makes, since it’s all custom to his needs.  It’ll be interesting to see how the group dynamics play out.  I think the group has a good balance.  If Chris starts stressing about gear, Jesse can just remind him that all you need is a stick ;)

            I know today is only the first day of the hike, but I’m feeling pretty good about it.  I haven’t been able to work out in quite a while because I was so busy in Durham (I was trying to juggle three jobs!)  It feels really good to be outdoors and active again.  And it was really exciting seeing the moose in the lake.  Of course, being a girl from New York City, I’m paranoid that the moose are going to come and attack us in the middle of the night (don’t all wild animals come and attack you in the middle of the night?  I know rats and roaches do!) 

            Well, it’s off to sleep… hopefully tomorrow will be as, if not more, spectacular than today.

 

Day 2, June 19, Mile ~20,

 

Today was quite interesting.  We slept in a bit, and then it took Jesse a long time to get everything packed into his rucksack (which was much too small for all the gear we needed) and so we didn’t end up leaving camp until nearly noon.  In the meantime I saw a moose with full antlers playing in the lake, though.  He would dunk his head into the water, making a loud splashing noise, then pull plants up that where growing in the lake.  He would munch away on the plants, then dunk his head again to get more. 

The trail followed a valley for a while and passed a patrol cabin where the grizzly bear study guy was (he had passed us that morning before we got started).  We said hello and then started climbing along the ascending trail.  Tony was having some trouble with the elevation gain and the group got spread out a little.  On parts of the trail there was little shade and a great deal of sun but all in all it was not too bad, and it was fun to finally be out in the woods.  I stopped to eat at a nice shady spot that I finally found and Jesse and Meryl came up about a half hour later.  They took out their food and we all relaxed to wait for Tony.  After about a half hour I started to walk back down the trail to make sure Tony was ok.  I saw him coming up in the distance and I turned around and headed back to where we were all sitting in the shade.  As Tony got closer we heard his voice.  I called out to him and he told us to wait up because he had a great story to tell us.  When he came around the corner he announced that he had seen a grizzly bear!  He said it was about 40 feet below the trail initially and it was very light colored—nearly white.  At first he thought it was a mountain goat but then got a better look and discovered it was a griz.  It came onto the trail forcing Tony to back up and go around a corner behind him, stake out a safe place to watch, and wait for the bear to leave.  After a few minutes it finally did get off the trail and Tony excitedly came up to tell us about it. 

The trail continued to climb and as we rounded a hill we came upon snow.  Soon it was solid snow and we lost the trail.  We checked the topo and then just headed uphill where it looked like the trail went.  We reached treeline and turned right to walk parallel to the ridge of imposing looking mountains above us.  Evening was approaching rapidly and we tried to make good time.  Soon we started down a bit to search for the Fifty Mountain campsite that we were supposed to be staying at for the night.  The wind had kicked up and with night setting in quickly we were running out of time.  Looking at the map we knew we were close, but Tony yelled that he was getting hypothermic, that this was a survival situation, and he needed to make camp immediately, so we gave up looking for it and made camp on a flat spot in the snow.  Meryl and I are in the tarptent bundled up in all our clothes, and I am using my auxiliary quilt in addition to my main quilt to try to stay warm.  Still, it looks like it will be a cold night. 

 

Meryl’s journal

            Ugh.  Today was hard.  When they say 8 miles all uphill, they mean it!  The terrain was unrelenting.  We just kept climbing.  The scenery was gorgeous though- it reminded me of parts of where Lord of the Rings was filmed (I hope New Zealand is like this because that’s where Chris and I might go on our honeymoon!)  It was frustrating not being able to keep up with Jesse and Chris, especially since over one part I kept having small asthma attacks.  But I figured Tony couldn’t be too far behind me so should a big bear jump at me out of nowhere, he could come and save me.  It did make me a little nervous, however, that Tony saw a bear so close to the trail.  He said it couldn’t have been more than 40 feet from where I had been!  Like I said before, I’m quite paranoid about wild animals so you can be sure I was definitely looking out for, above all, grizzly bears!  Guess I was too distracted by the scenery to notice this one.  I’ll have to be more vigilant in the future.  Or at least start making more noise!

            The end of today’s hike was gruesome.  I had never hiked in snow before, and doing it at dusk was a little disorienting.  It was hard to see, the snow was difficult to hike in, and we had lost the trail.  When Chris said there’d be snow on some parts of the trail, I thought it would be in little piles around the trail- I did not expect the trail to just suddenly disappear under 5 feet of it!  With night quickly approaching, and us being unable to find the trail or the campground, I started to get nervous.  Eventually we set up camp, but the cold was close to unbearable.  I was glad I brought along my fleece as an extra layer just in case- those extra ounces were definitely worth it!  I woke up several times during the night shivering, and at one point my hand had gone numb.  I was really scared of becoming hypothermic. 

            When I woke up, still shivering, the guys were really nice- Jesse boiled some water for me so that I could warm up- before any of them even made their breakfast meals!  We made some tea and I started to feel better.  I was just glad that miserable night was behind us… I wonder what’s in store for us today…

 

Day 3, June 20, Mile ?

 

            Last night was pretty terrible.  It was COLD.  Meryl was pretty miserable and I wasn’t much better.  I had trouble sleeping and didn’t actually fall asleep until it started getting light out again (about 4:30 am).  I then somehow slept through the alarm at 7:30.  I finally got up at about 8:30 and found that Tony and Jesse were still in their tarp.  It was bright and sunny then.  I started making breakfast and packing up and Tony and Jesse got up and started doing the same.  I could see dark clouds building near the mountains above us.  Before we had finished with breakfast it started raining.  We finished packing and I donned my poncho.  It was a bit of a pain to get on and a bit of a pain to move around in.  Hopefully I will get used to it.  I forgot the little elastic belt I meant to use with it.  Hopefully when I get that back at East Glacier the poncho will be more functional.  About 10 minutes after starting out we came across the Fifty Mountain camp.  The privy was strangely free of snow, but everything else was buried.  Meryl had to dig down a foot or two in order to expose the trail sign at the junction where the camp was.  By this time the storm had intensified and it presented near whiteout conditions.  We were left with a choice.  The trail sign indicated an alternate route that showed up on the simple map we had of the trails of the park, but we lacked a topo that had the alternate on it.  We could take the alternate (without a topo) or brave 60 degree snow covered slopes in whiteout conditions to hike along the highline trail as planned.  Given that only Tony and I had ice axe experience and that Tony was not in the best physical shape we decided to try the alternate.  Hiking down we intercepted a trail and happily started following it.  After about 5 minutes it disappeared in snow.  We found it again, but it disappeared again.  The trail was either under snow or under water.  We could not see very far in front of us, which made picking up the track again very hard.  We had no topo to see geographically where the trail went.  Eventually Tony and Jesse decided to follow a river, which would eventually take us down to Going to the Sun Road.  We waded along in mud, then climbed up the hillside to try to avoid it the water, then reached a cliff, then headed back down along the bank of the river in the mud, up and down, over and over.  Meryl found a large moose antler in the process and attached it to her pack despite its 10 pound weight.  After hiking with it for about half an hour she decided it wasn’t worth it and we took photos and put it back on the ground. 

            At some point while we were bushwhacking I mentioned that I was on an email list that another hiker, Gottago, would be sending out.  She was hiking with a group in front of us and would be sending out information about trail conditions, etc.  Tony said he did not want to know any of that information.  I kept my mouth shut, but that has me worried.  Tony may like the adventure of the unexpected but I think that is a very different style than what we need.  It seems dangerous not to know what awaits us, but even more important is the time issue.  While we can wander around looking for the trail and improvise as things come along, we can avoid a tremendous waste of time by knowing what awaits and making accommodations for it (like choosing an alternate route ahead of time and taking appropriate topo maps).  Time doesn’t matter if you don’t care how far you get, but with the Mexican border as the goal time is everything.  Hopefully that difference in view won’t cause any problems.  I worry it might.  Tony kept trying to take GPS readings and kept checking the compass despite us not having a map of where we are.  Why?  What’s the point when we don’t have a map?  He then announced at about 4pm that he was going to stop and camp.  I was a little shocked given that there were still lots of hours of daylight left and we had made next to no progress.  Jesse, Meryl, and I were game to keep going.  Tony was very insistent so eventually we told him he could camp there and we were going to keep going.  He stopped demanding that we stop at that point.  He quickly got his way, though.  We came to a point where we were forced to ford the cold river.  We changed into sandals and I went across with Tony and Jesse.  Then I went back and helped Meryl across.  Given its depth, the crossing proved very hard for Meryl.  Once on the other side of the river we all agreed we would call it a day.  It was still raining and everyone was wet and tired.  We made dinner and set up camp.  Meryl has been handling this very well, but I know it must be pretty miserable.  Things are not going as planned and the trip has not been too much fun today.  It is early now, about 8pm.  Hopefully we’ll get a full night’s rest and tomorrow will be better.

 

Meryl’s journal:

            Today was a bit frustrating.  We were far off the trail and couldn’t decide what to do.  One option was following the river to the road that ran through the park (something that sounded quite appealing to me by now, however, I knew that without a topo map it could all be in vain).  We could also head back up to the Highline trail- although, seeing as we couldn’t even see the peaks of the glaciers in the fog, that was probably not a wise idea.  Or, we could look for the alternate route, which again, without a topo map, might be unwise. 

            Somehow we decided to follow the river.  I didn’t mind the rain too much.  I had my rain gear on, and luckily Chris told me to bring some dishwasher gloves along to keep my hands dry.  That was quite clever.  I was a bit nervous about what we were doing, but I figured I was with three experienced backpackers and they knew what they were doing.  Plus, I figured Chris wouldn’t let anything happen to me- I was probably one of few girls that would do this kind of thing with him! J

            The river crossing was pretty scary for me.  It was only about knee deep (if that), but it was moving pretty quickly, it was ice cold, and I couldn’t get my hiking pole in a sturdy spot to help me across.  And, I don’t like water too much.  But Chris helped me across and I made it just fine.  It was the one part of the trip, however, that almost brought me to tears.  The tension in our group was building, and this felt like one of the final straws.  People were fighting over which way to go, when to stop, what to do.  Chris and I didn’t have enough food to stay out there for several more days, and I did not like the sound of us being in a “survival situation.”  Plus, no ranger would know to look for us there, and if we didn’t make it to Many Glacier the day I told my mom we would get there, I knew she’d freak out and call the rangers hysterical.  (Trust me, something similar has happened before!)  By this time I just wanted to get out.  I figured if we could get to Many Glacier and take a zero day to regroup, I would be more than ready to do the next leg of the trip.  I just needed a break and to know that we were safe.

            It actually worked out fairly well that we stopped early.  The rain let up long enough for us to eat dinner, relax, and get to bed at a decent hour.  By the evening I was in higher spirits- I had actually forgotten our dire situation and felt like we were just stealth camping.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better…

 

Day 4, June 21, backtracking   

 

            Tony and Jesse wanted to continue following the river today.  I was not excited about that idea because the river’s turns kept forcing us to climb up the rocky bank or ford the river, over and over.  And the rest of the time we were hiking through swamp or bushwhacking through underbrush that came up after the area burned.  It was slow miserable going.  I eventually convinced Tony and Jesse to try paralleling the river along a ridge rather that trying to hike right down in its canyon.  We climbed up to the ridge then dropped our packs to get as high as we could and get a look around.  At the top I looked over to the west, where we had come from, and could make out a part of the highline trail!  Trail!!  We hadn’t seen that in a while!  Some of it was covered with snow but some of it was exposed.  I looked at the topo map and discovered we were back on the portion that the map covered.  I talked with Tony and Jesse and tried to convince them to go back to the highline trail and continue south from there.  Tony, after looking at the map and looking at the trail off in the distance, agreed with me, but Jesse wanted to continue down the river (which would have been 10 miles of bushwhacking down a river canyon).  Eventually Tony and I convinced him, and then we figured out the best way to get back to the highline trail.  It involved walking North along the ridge we were standing on then turning west to swing back onto the highline trail.  We ate lunch and started moving.

            The bushwhacking was harder than yesterday because although some of the area was opened up from a fire that burned last year, some was not.  We had to push through LOTS of heavy brush and small trees.  It was slow going.  Jesse would often start hiking a little farther west when we were trying to head north (to avoid a cliff) and Tony would yell at him in a very condescending manner.  I wondered how Jesse kept his restraint. 

            After hiking north for a while and seeing giant grizzly prints we saw a ridge off to our right (west) and decided to head up to it and see if we could make it to the highline trail yet.  We reached the top and found it covered with snow but also found that it afforded magnificent views.  Jesse and I headed to the west end of the ridge to see if we had gone far enough north to avoid the cliff such that we could head west to the highline trail.  Nope.  I eased myself up to a cliff and looked down.  It was a vertical rock wall for at least 1000 feet down with a river in the bottom.  Very pretty, but quite deadly.  We had to go farther north.  We could see where the valley (and cliffs surrounding it) ended off to our left, though, so we knew about where we wanted to go.  We started hiking again.  Tony favored a circuitous route that did not involve much elevation gain, but having seen where we could cut over, Jesse and were anxious to get there and hike up and over to the highline trail sooner, even if it meant climbing up a bit.  Jesse kept drifting toward where he and I wanted to go, Tony kept yelling at him, and yet Jesse never seemed to get angry.  When we got close enough Jesse and I voiced our desire to go up and we started climbing.  Tony and Meryl followed and soon we reached a snow covered saddle with the highline trail right in front of us.  But covered in snow.  Lots of snow.  The trail worked its way along the edge of a mountain with 60 degree slopes that happened to be completely covered in snow.  We watched a small rock slide start from above the trail, knock some snow loose, and start a small avalanche.  We noticed that the rocks rolling down formed a smooth straight line along the snow, even when it went over where the trail was.  This indicated that there was no bench of any sort up where the trail was—it was just a 60 degree snow covered slope.  Although I wanted to try it anyway, Jesse, Meryl, and Tony all had better judgment and convinced me it was too risky.  We would go follow the trail out to Waterton Lakes the way we had come and then reassess our options. 

            We followed the ridge across the snow, above treeline, until we started to approach the area where we had come up from the trail a couple days earlier.  Most of our tracks had been obscured by the snow and it was difficult to see exactly where we came up.  We passed a part that looked familiar to me, but not enough to be sure.  Tony and Jesse kept hiking.  They eventually turned downhill at a stream.  We crossed over the stream, which seemed to make sense to me because on that side of the stream would had to hit the trail eventually.  On the other side of the stream where our tracks (somewhere) but if we could not follow our tracks we could miss the trail.  After coming across another smaller stream running perpendicular to the main stream, we discovered that we had the choice of crossing back over to the side where our tracks were or crossing a snow covered log.  The snow covered log looked passable to me, and I liked that option because we couldn’t miss the trail on that side of the main creek.  Tony told us to go to the other side of the stream and follow our tracks.  We crossed over and searched.  Soon we lost the tracks.  Meryl said “Chris, maybe we should try your way now.”  Tony turned to the right, crossed over the main stream, and hiked off into the forest.  Jesse was in front and started over the stream too.  Meryl and I followed and the three of us started searching for the trail.  Soon Jesse found a very distinct trail, but it seemed to be heading up slightly.  I found the other end of the trail that seemed to be heading down, but away from where we wanted to go.  After investigating it looked that the trail Jesse found was the one we wanted to take.  The three of us got over to the trail and started calling to Tony to let him know we had found it.  No response.  We called some more.  No response.  We blew the whistle.  No response.  By now we were getting a little worried.  We blew the whistle and yelled some more, and then Jesse tried searching.  He came back in about 10 minutes without finding Tony.  We were not sure what happened, so I began writing a note to leave for Tony telling him that we were heading down the trail and we would let the Rangers know that he’d gone missing.  After I had about half the note written Tony appeared through the trees.  We called, he said he was coming, and we waited for him to get over to the trail.  He stepped foot on the trail and I asked “Where were you?”  He said “I was hoping you would all go down without me.  I wanted some peace and quiet.”  I then said “OK.  Well, can you tell us that next time so we don’t worry about what happened to you?”  He replied “You don’t have to worry about that with me.”  Then he stormed past us and yelled “ I can’t stand acting like a bunch of bumbling idiots looking for the trail.  I’m gonna get out of here.  I’m getting on the Ferry [across Waterton Lakes] tonight.”

            Jesse, Meryl and I looked at each other in shock.  We slowly got our packs back on and started down the trail, confident that there was no way Tony would make it to the ferry tonight.  After about 15 minutes we stopped to relax at a switchback and let recent events settle in.  I wondered aloud if this was the end of our CDT hike.  Jesse was content just to lie back and take a nap despite the swarm of mosquitoes descending on his legs, arms, and face.  Meryl and I continued hiking down. 

            We caught Tony at the patrol cabin where the grizzly researchers were still staying.  Tony was in the middle of boasting about his grizzly sighting to them.  Tony then asked if they would mind if we camped out in front of the cabin (despite the “No Camping” signs posted in front of it).  The researchers were extremely friendly and said sure.  They then offered to boil us some water, which was awesome since we had not had dinner yet.  I didn’t really speak to Tony at all, and we set up camp in relative silence.  Meryl talked to him a little bit and was able to elicit that he did indeed intend to get off the trail completely and end the CDT trek.

            My head was spinning.  Tony was the only one of us with a GPS unit and he had most of the maps.  We had divided up planning for the trip such that he was almost exclusively in charge of navigation.  I lacked the resources to go solo on this trail if I didn’t have Tony’s equipment.  And now Tony was getting off the trail.  I flew through options in my mind.  I could try joining with a group of thru-hikers that was ahead of us.  As far as I knew Cupcake, Gottago, and Yogi were all ahead of us, plus others possibly.  That would mean skipping the rest of Glacier National Park, however, and starting where they were heading south of Glacier National Park into the Bob Marshall wilderness.  Although it would constitute a small portion of the trail as a whole, if I skipped the Glacier National Park segment, even if I got all the way to Mexico with a new group, I would not have completed a true thru-hike of the CDT.  Non-thru-hikers never really understand that, but it is generally understood among thru-hikers that you can’t skip any part of the trail if you want to say you legitimately did a thru-hike.  I could forget the CDT and instead go hike the 900 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail that I had missed last time.  Then I would have hiked all of the PCT, but since it would not have all been done in one season, that would not be a thru-hike either.  None of my options look good.  Now I am laying in the tarptent hoping to get some sleep, but knowing I will be mulling things over in my head and likely will get little shut-eye.

 

Meryl’s journal:

            Oy, what a day!  I have never done as intense backpacking as I did today.  The bushwhacking was crazy!!  Although, I must admit, I kind of got a kick out of it.  I’m into the Indiana Jones kind of thing, so I felt a bit like an explorer going into uncharted territory.  What was most annoying, however, was the fact that I kept getting stuck in the brush whereas the other guys could just plow right through it.  I often forget I’m only 5’1’’, and a petite 5’1’’ at that.  So where Chris and Jesse and Tony could just march through the trees, pushing them aside with one fell swoop, I would get tangled up in the branches, my hiking poles extended into the air which became my “Chris please come rescue me” sign. 

            When we finally got up to the glacial peak, I decided it was worth all the harrowing bushwhacking down below.  It was a feeling that is difficult to describe.  It feels like you’re standing on top of the world- everything is white around you, and you are the only people on Earth.  It was so beautiful up there.  And, it was nice to finally have gotten away from some loud, grunting animal that had been following us for the latter half of the morning.  I had initially thought it was just Tony or Jesse making those noises, but soon learned it was not.  Had our hiking party befriended a curious moose?  Or was it a bear- stalking us- ready to pounce like you see in all those bear attack specials on National Geographic and the Discovery Channel.  (Told you I was paranoid!) J 

            I couldn’t believe it when we finally found the trail.  I just wanted to drop to the ground and kiss it (you know that feeling when you finally land after a really turbulent airplane ride?  Yeah, it was kind of like that.)  I was so relieved!  Unfortunately though, the quarreling in our group was not yet over.  As Chris described, Tony seemed to get pretty pissed off and after a troubling half hour looking for him in the woods, made it pretty clear he no longer wanted to hike with us.  I wasn’t so concerned about safety now since we had found the trail and knew where it went (we had come up it only 2 days before!), but I was really concerned about Chris.  This was his dream, like I said, for as long as I had known him.  I knew he would have some serious decisions to make in the coming days.

            We ended up spending the night at the Patrol Cabin, like Chris mentioned above.  The two researchers, Austin and Will (I think that was his name- please let me know if I got it wrong- I’m writing this many days later!) that we had met earlier were incredibly nice to us.  It was kind of embarrassing explaining to them about how we had to backtrack, but alas, we didn’t really have any other option.  I know Chris feels really lousy about it and continues to wonder how the hikers could do it and we couldn’t.  He can be quite hard on himself.  I only hope after talking to the other hikers that he can be at peace with our decision to turn around.

 

Day 5, June 22, back at Waterton

 

            This morning we got up and started packing at a leisurely rate.  Meryl and I made a no-bake cheesecake for breakfast, which was good, but too rich.  We couldn’t finish it.  Tony and I didn’t say much to each other.  We all tried to be quiet getting ready so as not to wake the grizzly research people who were so nice to us the night before.  They woke up on their own, however, just as Tony left camp.  We took our time and left about 45 minutes later.  It took about an hour and a half for us to catch Tony.  I hiked right behind him for a solid 5 minutes before he decided to move over and let us pass.  No words were exchanged.  Meryl and I hiked along the flat trail at a pretty good clip and rolled into the Goat Haunt Ranger station at 11:45.  I removed my boots, started to relax, and told the ranger about our experiences on the highline trail.  Tony and Jesse came up about 20 minutes later and parked themselves under a very large covered awning overlooking the lake.  After explaining our adventures to the Ranger he said he would cancel the remaining portion of our permit and he took down the permit number.  I mentioned Tony’s grizzly sighting to him and he went to take a report from Tony.  The ferry across the lake was not scheduled to come until 2:15 so we just relaxed.  The weather was great.  Meryl and I ate some of our remaining food and Jesse went out on the pier to try his luck fishing.  He was using one of those devices that looks like a kite handle on which the kite string is wound.  He would swing the end of the line around and toss it into the water.  He didn’t have much luck at the pier so he moved to where the inlet river flowed into the lake.  Still no luck.  Tony went to sleep under the awning. 

            Soon it came time to walk over to the boat dock.  Tourists came off and walked over to the Goat Haunt Ranger station, as did the captain after Tony had talked to him and been informed that we needed to fill out customs cards.  Eventually the tourists came back (what was the point of staying at the end of Waterton Lakes for just 10 minutes?) and the Captain gave us customs cards to fill out.  They were no big deal.  The boat started the trip back to the northern end of Waterton lakes and a strange man provided commentary over the intercom.  He talked about how stupid big horn sheep are for slamming their heads together during mating season.  He also talked about how to protect yourself from grizzly bears.  He said “And some people suggest you use whistles.  That doesn’t work.  Grizzly bears eat animals that whistle.”  He occasionally got in a good line, but always went on and on afterwards and ruined what otherwise might have been slightly funny. 

            When the boat pulled up toward the dock in Canada I saw two female uniformed officers standing on the dock.  They were very conspicuous and I wondered if they were there for us, but I didn’t think much of it.  They looked like police officers.  After getting off the boat they asked if I was a backpacker (pretty obvious given the backpack on my back) and asked me to step to the side, along with Meryl.  They were customs officers.  They said they were waiting for two other backpackers and then they needed to ask us some questions and check out things out.  The two others they were waiting for were, of course, Tony and Jesse.  When they came out they had us line our backpacks up along the side of the dock.  They asked us about our citizenship, what we were doing there, our plans, etc.  Then they went through our backpacks.  They must not have had much experience with backpackers because they had to ask what Tony’s water filter was, and what was in my bear can.  I felt sorry for them as they looked through our disgustingly dirty and smelly clothes.  Eventually they seemed satisfied and they let us out.  We walked to a gas station and asked about transportation back to East Glacier.  They told us to check at an outdoor store called the Tamarack.  We walked over there and were told all about the shuttle service.  It was very complicated.  We could get a shuttle run by the outdoor store that would take us to the border where we would go through customs, then get on the shuttle operated by the Prince of Wales hotel on the other side of the border.  We were too late to do any of that today, though, so we won’t be able to leave till tomorrow.  The lady at the store was very helpful and gave us suggestions on where to get a hotel room, where to get laundry done, and where to eat.  Tony, Meryl, and I went to the hotel suggested to get rooms.  Jesse just wandered off.  Meryl and I got a room and went to it and left Tony at the front desk.  After putting our stuff in the room we found Jesse walking around and we went and got great burgers at a restaurant down the street.  Then Meryl and I went to the hostel and washed clothes and used the internet.  I emailed a thru-hiker who had posted to the CDT-L and to Gottago, who had helped me in planning, to see if their group was interested in absorbing me and possibly Jesse.  There were deer walking all over town along the streets and in people’s yards and they seemed completely unperturbed by people.  Waterton is a really great little town.  Quaint, pretty, good food.  Highly recommended.  After taking care of those errands we went back to the hotel room, showered, then went out for dinner.  Jesse, Meryl, and I went to this little pizza place for which we had gotten a coupon from the hotel.  It was amazing pizza—possibly the best I have ever had.  Incredible!  I don’t know what they did differently but it was awesome!  After that great end to what in context is a miserable experience (having the trip collapse) we went back to the room, took care of journaling, and are now off to sleep.

 

Meryl’s journal:

            I just want to thank Loren at the Tamarack outdoor store.  She was so nice and so helpful- she helped us out with exchanging money, told us where to eat, do laundry, and even which hotel to stay out.  It’s very heartening to meet such genuinely nice people along the trail. 

            Waterton was a very pleasant town.  So pleasant, in fact, that I actually considered some day setting up a little resort kind of place there that would be very hiker friendly.  Everywhere we went the people were incredibly friendly.  It was nice to be back out in civilization again, and to be able to use a telephone.  I called home to let my parents know I was okay.  I only had about 8 minutes on my calling card, so I left a brief message for my mom- saying only that I was okay and that we had to come back out the way we went in because of bad weather.  My dad I gave the whole story to.  I was talking a mile a minute for the remaining 6 minutes I had on my phone card.  Out of breath, I just kept going on- “and then there was snow, and then we lost the trail, and then… and then…”  Although it was pretty miserable on the trail, now that we were off the trail, it was kind of funny to relate our story to others.  It was just such a disaster!

 

Day 6, June 23rd, back in East Glacier

 

            Meryl and I went and had breakfast this morning and watched a large black and white bird swoop in on unsuspecting people eating outside, grab a little plastic cup of creamer, and fly away.  It did this 3 or 4 times while we were watching.  Very entertaining.  After breakfast we tried to check email again and then went back to the hotel and packed up.  When we headed over to the Tamarack where Tony and Jesse were sitting outside Jesse told us that he had found us a ride all the way back to East Glacier.  A woman working at the place that we had breakfast offered to drive us back.  She was going to start driving us at 1pm, an hour before the shuttle was supposed to leave.  We were a little skeptical, but then she drove up and introduced herself as Amy, and she seemed pretty cool and reliable, so we decided it would work well.  In fact it worked great.  She was great to drive with and we had no problem getting through customs.  She even stopped at Many Glacier so we could pick up the resupply package we left there.  

            While in the ranger station at Many Glacier we talked with the Ranger, who was getting concerned about it.  It appears that the ranger at Goat Haunt did not cancel our permit as he suggested he was going to, and didn’t inform the other rangers that we had come out that way.  The ranger at Many Glacier said he had done some research on us and found out we were all really experienced, so he wondered if something catastrophic happened.  I wondered how he did this research and if he confused us with other hikers—we’re experienced, but not as much as most other CDT thru-hikers.  I’m not sure where one would be able to find out about our experience either.  At any rate, if he did have the right group, it was kind of cool that he was impressed with what we had done.  He seemed surprised that the Ranger at Goat Haunt had not informed the rest of the park about our whereabouts, and in response Tony piped up “Well, in that Ranger’s defense, I think he was more interested in hearing about my Grizzly sighting!!,” at which point Tony started relating his grizzly story for approximately the billionth time.  

            After getting the package and trying to get more information about when the group with Yogi, Cupcake, and Gottago was supposed to exit at East Glacier (the Ranger didn’t know), we got back in the car and drove the rest of the way to East Glacier.  Once there we split up and Meryl and I went to see if Mark had any rooms available in his hotel.  He didn’t, so we moved over to the backpacker’s hostel behind the Mexican restaurant.  It didn’t seem too crowded when we put our stuff inside, so it seemed to be ok, although Meryl and I would probably be in separate rooms for the night because they had a boys room and a girls room.  It was only $10 a night, though.  Jesse was staying there too. 

            Meryl and I went to a little restaurant and got an early dinner plus a piece of pie.  Jesse stopped by and sat with us for a bit, and then Tony came in.  He said that he had gone to the Amtrak office to discuss the refund he and Jesse were due because of the ordeal they had been through in taking Amtrak to East Glacier earlier, and instead of a refund they offered a free first class sleeping cabin ticket back to Sacramento.  Tony jumped at the offer and was to leave in an hour and a half.  He said he was sure he would see us before he left, and then he walked out the door. 

            Meryl and I took our time finishing the food and then went into Mark’s store to find out about car rentals and to get some of the stuff we left in the back.  When we came out we could see Tony standing on the platform of the Amtrak station.  I briefly thought about whether I should go say goodbye (I later found out that Jesse did), but decided against it.  Tony had behaved so immaturely during the hike, and had been so antagonistic toward everyone, and ruined a trip that I had invested an enormous amount of time and money in, and I just didn’t feel up to going to talk to him.  His train pulled in and he disappeared.  I have no idea if I will ever speak to him again.  I am hoping that his bizarre behavior is due to the enormous stress he has been under the last few years.  He was called up as an Army reservist to help with the Afghanistan invasion, then when he was finally able to retire he stayed on as a contractor in support of our military efforts overseas.  It undoubtedly was an intense experience and maybe he is carrying some emotional baggage from that which caused the problems on our trip. 

            While walking back to the hostel we ran into Jesse who told me that I had a message from the group of Cupcake, Gottago, etc.  They were here much earlier than I expected!  I ran back and got the message which said they were eating dinner now at Serrano’s (the Mexican restaurant) and were staying at the Mountain view hotel.  It was signed Cupcake, Applepie, etc., but did not have Gottago’s name or Yogi’s name.  I went outside and Jesse and I agreed we would go meet them.  Jesse thought they must be done with dinner and so we should walk to the hotel.  I ran back to take a quick look in the restaurant just in case, and I could recognize Cupcake (John Brennan—who got Jonathan Ley’s CDT maps printed for us) sitting at a table with 3 others.  Neither Yogi or Gottago appeared to be there.  They seemed to recognize me immediately and I walked over and introduced myself.  They introduced themselves as Cupcake, Spur, Applepie, and Anish, who was a ranger in the park and joining them for some hikes, but not thru-hiking.  They all seemed very friendly.  I found out that Yogi had hiked with another person named Goof and they were in front of this group!  And Gottago was sick from exposure or exhaustion or something!  The group had made it across the highline trail, but it apparently had been an ordeal.  I went out and grabbed Jesse and Meryl and brought them in for introductions, found out they planned on hiking the 10 miles from Two Medicine to East Glacier that they had not done yet, and would either do that tomorrow and leave to hike south the following day, or would take a zero day tomorrow, hike the 10 miles the day after, then leave to hike south the day after that.  I mentioned an interest in joining them, but made clear that I would not be insulted if they didn’t want another person.  Spur made clear that he was looking for a smaller group, not a larger one, and was considering going solo.  We agreed we would talk more tomorrow, and I left them to finish their dinner. 

            Meryl and I went back to the hostel and found it had filled up!  We met a Swedish couple there who was trying to find transportation to Two Medicine the next morning.  Meryl and I planned on renting a car to go into Kalispell for some gear and to do the tourist thing through the park, so we said that if we could get the car we would drive them in.  We then checked if a private room at the hotel had opened up, and indeed it had, so Meryl and I moved in there.  Now it is off to sleep.  Lots to do before hand if I hike out with the Cupcake group.  I really really really hope they leave 3 days from now rather than the day after tomorrow. 

 

Meryl’s journal:

            Another interesting day, full of logistical concerns.  Jesse ended up charming a girl who worked at the coffee shop to drive us all the way back to Glacier.  At first I was a little skeptical- but when we met the girl, Amy, my skepticism was put aside.  She was extremely friendly and had excellent taste in music! J  I actually really enjoyed the road trip back to Glacier.  We had the windows open (probably because we all smelled so bad!), the radio blaring, and gorgeous countryside to stare at.  I was in a really great mood.  At one point the Beatles’ Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds came on, and Jesse remarked about how that would be a great border crossing song!  Hehe, that boy just cracks me up.  We decided that it might be better to play something a little more conservative while crossing the border, but in the end, just turned the radio off. 

            We made it back to East Glacier and as Chris said, started taking care of logistical things.  My first mission was to get Chris back on the trail, or at least, a trail.  Then I would figure out what I would be doing.  (My flight back to DC wasn’t for another week, so I had to consider either staying there for the week- which I would have loved to do had I had the money to do it- or get on an earlier flight.  It also involved figuring out how to get to the Kalispell airport- no easy feat without a car.)

            Once again, Chris will have some difficult decisions to make in the upcoming hours.  I’ll be supportive of whatever he decides, I just hope he can be happy with his decision.

 

Day 7, June 24, driving around, etc.

 

            Meryl and I got the car in the morning, and found the Swedish couple.  We made most of the drive to Two Medicine when we came across a black bear and two cubs walking around on the road.  They were awesome and we were very close!  I snapped a bunch of photos and once they had moved off the road we moved on.  We dropped the Swedish couple off at the ranger station, waited till they had their backpacking permits, and then Meryl and I started the drive to Kalispell. 

            On the way we stopped at a place called Goat Lick where we could see a few mountain goats on the other side of a ravine.  They were pretty far away and it was a little disappointing.  We drove the rest of the way to Kalispell, stopped in a couple of outdoor shops, mostly found the things I needed lacking, grabbed lunch, and then headed back toward the park.  We drove up and then started the drive along Going to the Sun Road, which transects the park East to West.  It was actually quite impressive.  We stopped at a few lookouts to take photos, and then stopped at a platform near Logan Pass.  After rounding a corner we saw a mountain goat about 4 feet from us just below a metal arm rail!  It was just standing there looking at us.  Very cool!  We took some photos and started walking back to the car.  On the way we saw another mountain goat.  The first one joined it and they walked along the metal grate walkway for a bit, then got off and we walked back to the car. 

            We continued driving and came to the “weeping wall” where a series of small waterfalls come off a cliff and fall on the road creating a gorgeous cascade of water down the side.  I took some photos but it was hard to get any good ones that did not have cars in the frame.  All in all it was a great experience.  It is a little sad (though safer, no doubt) that we saw more wildlife doing the tourist thing from a car than we did while we were backpacking in the backcountry.  Ah well.

            We finished the drive through Going to the Sun Road and headed back to East Glacier.  We walked back to the backpacker’s hostel to find Jesse and found him eating in the Mexican restaurant with Cupcake, Applepie, and Spur.  I talked with them for a while and found out that they had hiked the 10 miles this morning and were planning on leaving tomorrow afternoon!  That worried me because I had so much to do before leaving.  I had no idea if I would be ready.  Nor was it clear that they wanted someone else tagging along.  I was thinking that I probably would not go with them.  I could go hike the part of the PCT that I missed, or maybe even do a whole southbound PCT hike.  Hmmmm.  We had reserved a room at Mark’s hotel for tonight, and Cupcake, Applepie, Spur, and Gottago had as well.  I talked with Jesse and found that he would not be ready by tomorrow, but that he did want to hike and felt confident that he could rely on himself to navigate.  I am not nearly as confident in our ability to get through the next section without a GPS and the proper maps.  I feel the need to be with another group to be safe.  I told him that and he seemed to understand.  I still didn’t know if I was welcome in Cupcake’s group, though, nor did I know if I would be ready.

            I stopped by to see Gottago in the room where she was trying to recuperate.  I had never met her before but had emailed with her a number of times and she was extremely helpful in making preparations for this hike.  She seemed happy to meet me, but not very happy about the state of the hike.  She was feeling quite bad and thought the might have gotten Giardia from the water in East Glacier (a boil advisory was in place for the tap water there).  She was trying to decide if she was going to continue the hike or not.  She thought she might not, and even if she did it would require her staying in East Glacier for a while to get better, and the rest of the group would have to leave before then.  She encouraged me to join the group with Cupcake, Applepie, and Spur. 

Applepie came to visit us in the hotel room and said that the group would welcome one more person, but not two.  They didn’t want the group getting too big, and while having an even number (which the addition of me would make) would be useful for safety so we could pair up, having an odd number (which adding Jesse would make) would eliminate that advantage.  This left me with a major dilemma.  If I went with the group it would basically mean abandoning Jesse in East Glacier.  I was particularly reluctant to do that since that is basically what Tony had just done to us.  I went to talk to Jesse.  He told me that if I was going to be ready in time to go I should just go.  He would not feel bad, and he thought there was nothing wrong with going ahead with them.  His plan was to get more familiar with the section of the hike south of here (the Bob Marshall segment to Lincoln) and then leave the morning after we did, or maybe the next day. 

Having gotten his ok, I went back to the room and started trying to get all the stuff done that I need to have taken care of before I leave.  So much to do!  I have to go through food, get things packed, write in my journal, get a bunch of information together for Meryl to handle my resupply packages, take care of some stuff for the bar application, and more.  Ack!  That reminds me of another thing I am worried about if I join this group.  Meryl was planning to visit me at certain resupplies and I was planning to take a day or two off at each of those.  This new group would be unlikely to wait around and take a bunch of zero days while I did that.  I also will have to spend some time finishing up stuff for my bar application.  It could cause some logistical problems, particularly because I don’t feel like I have what I need to manage if I was not with the group all the time.  Hmmm.

And, of course, there is the biggest problem with joining this group.  Even if I made it all the way to Mexico with them I would not have completed the thru-hike.  I would have skipped the part in Glacier National Park.  That removed the motivation of completing the CDT thru-hike for me.  Dilemmas, Dilemmas.

After talking it over with Meryl I decided that I would hike out with the group if I was ready in time tomorrow, and not hike out with them if I was not.  I would hike with them as long as I was enjoying myself.  I would not be completing a true thru-hike, so there was no reason to keep hiking if I was not having fun.  It is difficult to accept that I went so out of my way to get all this time off to be able to complete a thru-hike of the CDT and now I won’t be able to.  What a waste!  It is frustrating beyond belief.  But now there is nothing I can do about it.  There are no other CDT thru-hiker groups behind me I can join, so if I tried to go back and hike through Glacier I would have no group to join up with to continue hiking south. 

Tonight was a very stressful night with all the packing and work that needed to be done, and the big decisions that needed to be made.  I am heading to bed now with much to do still tomorrow.

 

Day 8, June 25, ~ 14 miles from East Glacier

 

            I woke up early this morning to try to get stuff ready to go.  My feeling was that I would not be ready in time to leave with the group.  I mentioned this to Spur as he was putting his shoes on while he was sitting outside his hotel room.  He seemed very interested in having me join the group and encouraged me to try to get things together so I can come with them.  He let me borrow his resupply chart to help give Meryl the information she needs to send me packages.  He actually made me feel much better about joining the group.  I generally have not had a good feeling about it.  I am not sure why.  I just feel very rushed. 

            Meryl and I turned in the rental car and came back to continue packing.  Mark was kind enough to give us a late checkout, so we continued working, and then ApplePie, Spur, and Cupcake came over to use my room (since they had to be out of theirs) to finish getting ready.  The time of us leaving was fast approaching, so I got no time to work on journal entries, do bar application stuff, or get Meryl information on how to send my resupply packages other than get her the website for Cupcake’s resupply info.  I got everything packed otherwise, though, and was ready to go at 2 when they were ready to leave. 

            We took all our stuff out in front of Mark’s store and I donned my backpack and poncho since it was pouring rain.  I needed Meryl’s help to get my poncho over my backpack, which led to a good round of laughter for everyone.  Gottago was up and took photos of us as we walked off.  Meryl walked with us to the East Glacier Lodge where the trail was supposed to start from the golf course.  I gave her a big hug and said goodbye, and we started hiking.  We started walking along a road, stopped to remove our rain gear because the sun had come out, found we were not going the right direction, and had to turn around and walk back toward where Meryl was standing.  She came out to see what was wrong, we had to explain we had to go the other way, I said goodbye again, and we started hiking for real.  It is great to be hiking, but I wish Meryl were coming along. 

            The rest of the day marked my official start of hiking with the new group.  This is a trial hike to see if I want to continue hiking the CDT or go hike the part of the PCT I missed in 2000.  The group I am with is great!  Cupcake, whose real name is John Brennan, hiked the PCT in 2002.  He is in his early 40s, though he looks much younger, and he now works as a manager of some sort for a radio programming company in Arizona.  He does not eat any sweeteners added to his food, so he eats only stuff that is naturally sweetened, organic, etc.  That means he needs a resupply package at every town stop, but he has some interesting (and in some cases very good!) food.  Spur has hiked the AT three times before, the PCT once with his thru-hiking wife, named Ready, and is now doing the last leg of his triple crown.  He is in his 50s, but in amazing physical shape.  He owns his own business—a company that sells tools for woodworking.  He is mostly retired now, which is how he has so much time to do thru-hikes.  He found out I have a bachelors in philosophy and then asked me my “philosophy”, and we discussed religion and determinism for an hour or so today.  Very interesting trail conversation.  Apple Pie is Dutch.  Her husband is an electrical engineer working in California, and she spends lots of her free time thru-hiking.  She did the PCT last year and started the AT in March of this year.  She got bored of that and contacted Gottago to make arrangements to hike the CDT instead.  She seems to be always happy on the trail!  All three have perfect thru-hiker personalities and are always in great spirits.  I am the youngest at 25, and collectively we have 4 decades covered!

            Although the people in the new group are awesome, the hiking made the PCT look appealing.  The day started with rain, which soon gave way to sunshine.  The trail was entirely made of mud, however, so we spent all day slipping and sliding rather than hiking.  We soon learned from consulting the map that it was 15 miles before we would exit Glacier National Park.  It was illegal to camp in the park.  We had started hiking at 3, so we had a lot of miles to go and little time to do it in.  We hiked fast and although I was able to keep up it was not without effort.  We had dinner on the side of the trail at about 7 and then we started hiking again with over 7 miles left to go in order to get out of the park and over Marias pass where there was a campground we could stay at.  It started raining.  A lot.  With thunder and lightning.  We kept hiking as fast as we could.  Spur wanted to make it to the campsite tonight, so he was pushing hard.  The group got spread out a little.  I was at the front with Spur, Apple Pie was a little ways back, and Cupcake was behind her.  It was after 10 and we were still hiking, and it got dark.  We got to a clearing and Spur stopped to check his GPS to see how much farther we had to go to get to the campsite.  It was 1 & ½ miles farther.  Apple Pie came up and we discussed whether we should camp at the clearing or go to the campsite.  Apple Pie was mostly ambivalent with a slight preference for staying at the clearing, I expressed no preference, and Spur wanted to go to the campsite, so we started hiking again.  About ¼ mile farther up the trail Spur discovered that he was missing the case for his GPS so he looked around briefly and we all decided to go back to the clearing (where he probably left his GPS case) and camp there.  I am now in my tarptent camped on grass in the clearing.  It is raining out still.  We did about 14 miles since 3pm.  I’m tired!! 

           

June 26, ~ 16 miles farther South

 

I wrung out my socks and insoles last night before I went to bed but to no avail—both were still soaked this morning.  I wore my gore-tex socks to keep my feel somewhat dry.  It was still overcast and 5 minutes into the hike I had to put on my poncho because the rain started coming down hard.  I really hate that poncho.  It is such a pain to get it on and off!  It takes a while to get it on, then get my rain chaps on, then get my waterproof arm covers on, get my poncho situated over my pack, and get moving again.  I think next time I will have to go with a rain jacket and pants. 

We reached the train tracks and highway at Marias Pass in about half an hour.  As I crossed the highway I briefly considered hitching out and getting off the trail.  I was just not in great spirits from the beginning.  I quickly rejected that idea and decided I needed to give things more of a chance than that.  Miraculously there was a phone at the campground.  We put out packs down under the overhangs protecting the front of the two pit toilets at the campground parking area.  Spur and Cupcake sat down there to work on their journals.  It must have been an interesting site for motorists who stopped to use the bathroom.  No doubt some decided against the idea because of us strange people parked in front of the toilets blocking the doors. 

I was happy about the phone because I figured talking to Meryl would be just what I needed to lift my spirits.  Unfortunately I only got her voice mail and had to leave a message.  Cupcake, Spur, and Apple Pie made some calls and transmitted some of their journal stuff with the pocketmail devices.  When they were done we loaded up and started hiking again.  The rain continued until lunch time, and the mud was, of course, omnipresent.  Just slip-slip-sliding along the trail. 

After lunch the rain cleared momentarily but then we had to start crossing Two Medicine Creek.  It was a cold crossing that managed to work water inside my gore-tex socks and my feet got wet.  Soaking shoes and socks again.  No matter, though—we crossed that creek at least 20 more times, one crossing up to my waist.  The rain started up again in the early afternoon and came down hard.  Rain, river crossings and mud.  Fun.  Eventually we came to a ranger cabin (no one was there) and the weather cleared.  We made dinner and dried out our tents, etc.  My shoes and socks did not have time to dry, though.  After dinner we hiked for about a half hour more and were treated to gorgeous views of meadows full of wildflowers, mountains, and streams.  Unfortunately there are cows around, which means a muddy trail full of manure.  My shoes are soaked and covered in mud and manure, so I guess I won’t be using them for a pillow tonight.

The last couple days have not been very fun or comfortable.  Still, I cannot say I am miserable.  I am still leaning towards leaving after Lincoln or Helena, but I have not made up my mind. 

My new hiking group is great.  They push me hard and they waste no time.  I think I can learn a lot from them.  Nonetheless, I always feel rushed and never really feel like I can relax.  I think my idea thru-hiking partner would be someone who knows me so well that our schedules and habits are basically identical (like Meryl).  Cupcake, Apple Pie, and Spur are always in great spirits, though, and they have great senses of humor.  They are true thru-hikers.  I am sure that the stuff we dealt with today without blinking would have caused Tony to announce that he was hypothermic, that this was a survival situation, and that he had to stop…or shoot azimuths or something.  This new group makes use of the compass roses on Jonathan Ley’s maps, which Tony had made fun of because they were “upside down”.  While Tony thought they were amateurish because of this feature, my new hiking group is using them with great success. 

We are now in a beautiful field that happens to have quite a bit of cow manure.  At least I think it is.  It smells that way.  I don’t see any manure, though, and I noticed that the smell seems to be strongest when I have my shoes off and my socks are airing.  Spur noticed the smell when he took off his shoes too.  Is there a connection?  I hope not. Ah well.  Off to sleep.

 

June 27, ? miles

 

            Today I awoke to sunshine!!  After being a little slow getting moving I caught up to the others on the muddy trail.  We hiked and were treated to beautiful scenery.  At a trail junction we took the trail toward the Continental Divide.  After another hour of hiking we stopped in a nice meadow to have lunch and dry our stuff.  When we were done and packing up our stuff I looked up and noticed dark clouds moving in, indicating rain was inevitable.  I was pretty tired of rain at that point and muttered “F***ing A!”.  This led to a discussion about what “F***ing A!” means, and what the “A” stands for.  I always thought it was purjorative, but the rest of the group seemed to think not, but rather that it was an expression of approval.  At any rate, Spur started saying “F*** A!” periodically for the rest of the day, and then we started calling ourselves the “F***ing A’s”.  [This later turned into the “F***ing A-Team”, then, for polite company, changed to “F’in A’s”, then Spur came up with the creative spelling “Efineighs”.]

Another hour later we crested a beautiful pass.  Then it began to rain.  We hiked on and the rain soon let up.  Three miles past the junction Cupcake and Apple Pie discovered we were on the wrong trail.  Our options were to backtrack 3 miles, or take a different route on other trails and intercept the CDT in about 18 miles, adding only about a mile to our route.  We voted to take the different route.  Big mistake.  We were treated to the standard muddy trail and stream crossings until we came to a trail that was signed “Un-maintained”.  The first quarter mile of the trail was ok, then the trail seemed to peter out and disappear.  We started cross country in the direction that the trail should have been going and climbed over, under, and around downed trees.  A number of times Cupcake fell to the ground while trying to get around a falling tree, and he always blamed it on bark coming loose.  Suuuuure.  ;)  Spur started crossing a river on two small logs that had fell over it.  One gave way when he was in the middle, but he was luckily able to move his weight to his other foot and avoid a nasty tumble into the water.  Everyone was getting cut up and bruised.  We worked our way down to a river and decided it would be easier to walk in the river (yes, in the river) rather than continuing the bush whack.  We did this for about 300 yards until we found that there were so many fallen trees over and in the river that it was no easier.  We started bush whacking again and soon found ourselves, as Cupcake astutely recognized, in a scene from Lord of the Rings.  You know the one…The scene where Frodo, Gollum, and Sam are tip-toeing on little tufts of grass through a dark swamp to keep from sinking into the mud and water, never to be seen again.  We were in a swamp, sinking 5 or 6 inches with every step when we placed our feet correctly, and sinking a foot and a half when we did not.  Progress was very slow.  Everyone stayed in good spirits, though, and the rest of the group was constantly cracking jokes.  Soon Cupcake led us out of the swamp and, miraculously, came across the maintained trail we were supposed to intersect shortly thereafter.  We all rejoiced at finding the trail after 4 miles and 7 hours of bushwhacking, and then we continued on our way.

When we stopped to filter water I decided I needed to do something about some chafing that had started on my thighs.  I remember having heard a story about how Cupcake, being the brave man that he is, walked up to a couple sitting on a bench in Glacier National Park with their infant, and explained that he was a hiker and asked if they could give him some diaper rash cream.  Lots of hikers use diaper cream for chafing, so I asked Cupcake if he had any to spare.  He did, I applied it, and returned the film canister full of it back to him with the comment that I was careful not to double-dip (after all, the upper thigh on a sweaty hiker can be gross).   We packed up and continued on our way.

About a hour later we sat down briefly for a break and Cupcake made a joke about how he should start an alternate trail journal for a select group of his friends and call it “What the F*** is going on with my A**hole?”.  Hmmmm.  What I curious title, I thought.  “Why, what’s wrong with you’re a**hole?” I asked.

“It just hurts there.  What did you think the diaper cream was for?”

“You use the diaper cream on you’re a**hole?!?!?!  Ah!  That’s disgusting!!  Why didn’t you tell me that before I used it?!”

“What did you think I used it for?  I thought that’s why you told me you didn’t double dip.”

“I was just using it for chafing!”

“Oh, well I have bag balm for that.”

“You could have told me that before I used the cream you use on you’re a**!”

“Sorry, I just thought you had the same problem.”

I explained that I have never had problems there, but Cupcake and Apple Pie insisted it was a common problem for hikers.  I left feeling glad I didn’t have that problem, but thoroughly disgusted that I used that cream.

            After hiking a little ways on the maintained trail we had intersected (which was not yet the CDT) we found a grassy knoll and are now off to sleep.

 

June 28, ? miles

 

            It was sunny today!!  All day!!  Amazing!!  The views were mediocre and the trail was still muddy, but NO rain!  Of course it is thundering and about to rain now, but I am safe in my tarp so it doesn’t matter.  My pants and shoes are dry!  Spur, who on the first day relished walking through the river fords with his shoes on, has decided that he doesn’t like that anymore, so he and I changed into sandals for the crossings.  We saw a buck today that was very curious and got quite close.  I think I got some good photos.

            Despite the better weather I announced my intention to probably get off the trail at Benchmark.  My feet are blistered, my pack is starting to deteriorate, my poncho is a real pain to use, I have no GPS, and I am not having all that much fun (though the people I am with are hilarious!).  I think I’ll hike the part of the PCT that I missed.  I can go back to DC for a couple weeks to take care of making preparations and tying up some loose ends, then head out to hike in California and Oregon.  A nice relaxing 900 miles on the PCT, after I have taken care of things like the bar application, so I have nothing hanging over me, sounds really nice. 

            In the late morning we finally rejoined the official CDT.  Once we did we found footprints going in our direction, and they looked fresh.  The others asked me what kind of shoes Jesse was wearing.  They thought Jesse might be just in front of us!  I found that unlikely given the speed with which we have been moving and the navigational difficulties, but he could have passed us since our “alternate” route took much longer than anticipated.  From then on we named the person producing the footprints the “Ghost of Jesse”.  We just kept following them!

 

June 29, mile ?

 

            I think we only went about 14 miles today, but it felt like much more.  It likely was much more, too, because the mileage on Jonathan Ley’s maps, which we use to figure out how far we have gone, was only calculated with the program that he prepared the maps on and is, as Ley admits, an underestimation.  At any rate, the morning started fine…for the first few minutes.  Then we reached a stream crossing.  Spur and I changed into sandals and forded.  Cupcake and Apple Pie then charged through the river with their shoes on and continued down the trail.  I had to filter water and apply some bandages to blisters (and cut a hole in my shoe to help with the blisters) and I didn’t leave the stream until about a half hour after the others left.  And, of course, 300 yards farther down the trail was another stream crossing.  I gave up and went through with my shoes on (ruining my blister bandage job).  There were 2 more crossings over the next mile, so it was a good thing that I just gave up on changing into sandals each time. 

            The weather was overcast but OK and I hiked up the trail as fast as I could to catch up.  It climbed sharply and I caught them in just over an hour as the trail climbed high enough to give us our first glimpse of the Bob Marshall Wilderness Chinese Wall.  It is SPECTACULAR!  By far the best views of the trip (excluding GNP) so far! 

            We had lunch and weathered a rain storm under the trees and then started hiking again.  The trail brought us to an amazingly gorgeous large lake that was shimmering with a mesmerizing turquoise color apparently caused by glacial silt.  It was really amazing.  We then realized we were not on the right trail, so we searched until we found it and then started hiking again.  We hiked through snow and mud, often losing the trail again, and generally followed the wall.  Sometimes we could follow the prints of the Ghost of Jesse, and other times not.  It was a continuously amazing sight that words cannot do justice.  Unfortunately my feet continued to become increasingly painful.  I tried to ignore them and we eventually all made dinner at the top of a pass where black clouds and lightning threatened but the view was incredible.  It was a little scary, but beautiful.  The dinner conversation the 4 of us were having had us in stitches!

            After dinner we started hiking down the pass and about 4 minutes later the clouds broke and unleashed a deluge.  I threw my pack down and pulled out my poncho.  I also removed one shoe to try to remove a pine needle that I thought must be responsible for a stabbing pain I was having in one of my toes.  I cleaned out the shoe but found no pine needle, threw my pack and poncho on, and started hiking again.  I was behind the others by now and I started hiking as fast as I could.  The pain in my toe continued and I had to stop again, remove the shoe, and turn my sock inside out, replace the sock and shoe, and start hiking again.  By now the lightning was getting very close and I was still pretty high up and behind the rest of the group.  I started running down the trail, sliding around everywhere on the slippery mud.  It would have been comical had it not been so frustrating.  On the downhill sections I would start to slide, then strike a rock and almost tumble but catch myself at the last second with my poles.  I finally caught up to the rest of the group and we have made camp at a less than ideal flat-ish spot on an otherwise steep ridge because the trail looked on the map to continue climbing up to a pass and we didn’t want to go over a pass in these conditions.  It is still raining now.  My shoes are soaked and covered in mud as they have been the whole trip.  My left foot is in pretty bad shape with blisters, including 3 that have developed on my small toe.  I have to say that, despite the fantastic views, I am glad I’ll be leaving at Benchmark and I hope we get there as quickly and painlessly as possible.

 

June 30, Did ~21 miles today

 

            Interesting day today.  Spur left early this morning and the rest of us left about an hour later, although that was still early—about 7:15.  Cupcake and Apple Pie decided to liven things up a little by playing a role-playing game in which they were pretending to be a married couple.  They would yell at each other in strange accents and say they were tired of the other doing this or that, and wanted a divorce, and wanted the other one to take the kids because the kids were annoying.  Cupcake and Apple Pie can be strange sometimes.  Entertaining, though.

            After doing some climbing along the trail we went over a wooded pass and descended through a gorgeous meadow with views of the Chinese Wall.  Then Cupcake discovered that we were on the wrong trail.  While we backtracked it started raining.  I put my poncho on, and just then the rain stopped.  After backtracking we found we had gone too far back, so we went forward again, then decided to just go cross-country toward the trail that was supposed to join the one we walking on but never materialized.  We wandered around in the forest bushwhacking for about an hour following GPS readings and compass bearings, and then stumbled upon the trail.  Surprisingly the trail was easy to follow once we found it, even though its junction with the first trail we were on appeared to be non-existent.  We followed the trail for about a half hour before entering a burn area.  All the trees were black and bereft of branches.  The sun was intense (but hey, it was sun and not rain, so I’m not complaining).  Many many many trees had fallen and blocked the trail so we were navigating an obstacle course, climbing up, over, around, or under burned trees.  In the middle of the burned area we passed two backpackers resting.  They were in jeans and carrying heavy looking external frame packs.  They looked like they were working pretty hard, even while at rest.  It was notable to see them, though, because they were the first people we had seen since Marias Pass.  They said Spur was about an hour and 15 minutes in front of us. 

We had lunch shortly after passing them.  There was no shade so we just sat on a log in the sun.  A gorgeous violet colored bird flew by, and a large falcon of some sort circled nearby making impressive shrill screeches.  Eventually the trail descended to a river which we crossed.  My shoes, which had just dried, were soaked again.  On the other side Cupcake continued on.  Apple Pie filtered water and continued on.  I stayed and filtered water, made and drank a liter of Gatorade, washed out some of my clothes, and I rinsed out my hiking shirt and hat, and put them back on.  Cold, but very refreshing!  By the time I left I was about 45 minutes behind Cupcake and Apple Pie, but I was full of energy and I charged up the trail.  Soon it re-entered the soggy, muddy, green forest that had not burned.  A quick thunderstorm rolled in, but it did not last long enough for me to put my poncho on.  The trail was flat and I hiked very fast.  I passed some horse packers and continued at a maddeningly fast pace for about 2 and a half hours, after which I started to run out of steam.  I started back at my normal pace.  My feet were starting to hurt and my back was really bothering me too.  I have a feeling the torso length on my pack is about an inch too short.  Too much of the weight is on my shoulders.  This is not a big deal with a light load, but this has been a long section over which we had to carry a lot of food (plus ice axe and crampons). 

Just as I was about to get depressed at not having caught Cupcake and Apple Pie I heard voices and found them taking a break by a log.  They had caught up to Spur resting at the very log!!  It turns out that Spur needed to go dig a hole in the woods when he was on the original trail before getting on the trail that Cupcake and Apple Pie and I bushwhacked to.  When he was done he knew he was close to the trail he was supposed to intersect, so he just bushwhacked using his GPS and compass and found the trail in just a few minutes. 

We continued hiking and ate dinner about an hour later right next to the trail.  In fact, Cupcake made dinner literally on the trail.  We hiked on to a pass and, strangely, the trail we wanted continued up higher after the pass.  It reached a saddle with some beautiful views.  I was hiking with Apple Pie at that point and we were 5-10 minutes behind Cupcake and Spur.  I commented to Apple Pie how nice the saddle looked as a place to camp.  Just then Spur called out from where he was now standing on the saddle.  He suggested that we camp there!  We came up and saw that the views were even better than we previously had guessed!  We could see for miles and to our left was a large cirque of striated rock.  Tonight I am camping in one of the most beautiful campsites I have ever been in!

 

July 1, mile ?

 

            Last night at about 1am a massive thunderstorm rolled in.  The thunder was LOUD, the lightning was bright, and the wind was heavy.  It was a little scary since we were camped so high on a ridge.  I extended the beak on my tarptent (which I had left open to increase ventilation since I thought it would be a nice night) and listened to the thunder.  The time gaps between the lightning and the sound of the thunder were mostly between 10 and 15 seconds, indicating the lightning was still a safe distance away.  There was one strike in which the delay was only 2 seconds, but it seemed to be an outlier.  After about 45 minutes the storm died down and I opened up the beak on my tarptent again.  I fell asleep then woke up an hour later to find that the storm had come back and I needed to extend the beak again.  Ah well.  I fell back to sleep amid the sounds of the storm. 

            In the morning the storm was gone as was Spur who had left about an hour before we got out of our tents.  During breakfast at our gorgeous campsite Cupcake spotted a mountain goat far away on the cirque.  It was a tiny white speck moving insanely fast across the vertical rock wall.  It got closer and we could make out its legs running quickly over the rock.  Leaving camp we came to a nice lake and filtered water and then ascended and entered snow.  Navigating was made easier by following Spur’s footprints and those of the Ghost of Jesse.

            I had no energy at all this morning and I fell behind.  I caught Cupcake and Apple Pie when they took a break to have a snack.  When I caught up to them there they continued on and I stopped to eat and make and drink some Gatorade.  Afterwards I did not feel perfect, but I felt much better.  The trail went up and down over some snow and finally I came to the top of a pass.  There, seated on a very large flat rock, were Cupcake, Apple Pie, Spur, and a British guy that called himself Rob of Loxley.  He was the Ghost of Jesse whose footprints we had been following all this time!  There was also a dog wandering around.  It didn’t belong to any of us, and we could see no evidence of anyone else there.  It didn’t beg for food.  It just hung out around us. 

            The British guy talked quite a lot during lunch with a loud booming voice.  He talked a lot about his trip on the AT, and other trips in various places.  He is hiking the section from Marias Pass to Lincoln.  He was entertaining for a while, but he really never stopped talking.  Soon it got very cold and started raining.  It was gorgeous, but not the most pleasant place to stop for lunch.  Spur left and started down the trail followed by Rob the Brit.  I finished packing up and then the dog walked up to me.  He looked nice so I reached out to pet him and he barked, nearly bit me, and growled at me while walking away.  Hmmm.  I was not sure what to do about the dog.  He seemed to be alone up there and I have no idea how he got there.  I donned my pack and despite his aggressive behavior I called to him to see if he would follow me down the trail.  He wouldn’t and I hiked on. 

            It got sunny soon after leaving the pass, but no less muddy.  There were several fords and then the trail started to flatten out.  I tried hiking fast but my feet and back were killing me.  I did manage to pass Rob when he was taking a break, and kept within sight of Spur.  We got to a trail junction at which point Spur pulled out his GPS to see which way to go.  Upon finding out where we were Spur seemed to get quite upset because we had only gone something like 12 or 14 miles according to Jonathan Ley’s maps but, given how many hours we had been hiking and how fast we had been going (much of it flat or downhill) we should have done over 20.  Spur was quite annoyed at the discrepancy.  At any rate, we figured out the right way to go and hiked on.  An hour later we stopped for dinner at a nice grassy meadow that held a trail junction.  We saw a bunch of other backpackers around—a big change from earlier. 

            We sat down and then Rob came down the trail and yelled “We’re stopping for dinner, are we?”  He plopped himself down and started to make his dinner.  He talked all through dinner and then asked “So are we camping here tonight?”

            We all in unison said “No, we don’t camp where we cook.”  Then someone—I don’t remember who, said that we would probably try to get about 5 more miles in that day.  Rob said “Nooooo!”  We packed up and started hiking.  Rob got in front and we were all trying to hold back and make someone else go in front of us so we would not stuck talking to him while we were hiking.  Soon we all piled up behind him and got close to make it clear we wanted to pass.  Didn’t work.  Spur then just asked if we could pass and Rob let us by.  We hiked as fast as we could and soon Rob was out of sight.  Cupcake’s ankle was bothering him and my feet hurt, so we stopped to camp soon, having gone far less than 5 miles.  We hoped Rob had stopped to camp farther back, but he hadn’t.  When he came up he yelled down from the trail “What happened to 5 miles?”  Spur said some of us were wimps.  Luckily Rob said he was going to go up the trail a little farther to camp. 

            Tomorrow we have about 9 miles to go to get to Benchmark.  Tonight we have a great campsite by the river and I am off to sleep.

 

July 2, at Benchmark

 

            Spur again got an early start this morning and Cupcake, Apple Pie, and I left about an hour and a half later.  We hiked over relatively flat terrain and passed a number of backpackers and horse packers.  When horse packers come the opposite direction a hiker is supposed to yield the right of way, get on the downhill side of the trail, and talk to the horse packers so the horses know you are a person and not an animal (so they won’t get spooked).  This is more than a bit annoying because nearly all backpackers hate the horses packers because the horses turn the trail into a muddy mess, they crap all over the trail, scare wildlife away, and like to urinate in the water when crossing streams.  I really hate the horses, but I tried to be polite and do what I was supposed to today, particularly considering I might be trying to hitch a ride from some of these people in order to get into town.  Cupcake is not so accommodating, though.  He gets to the side of the trail, turns his back on the horses, and says nothing.  He says this is the only way he can keep from getting angry.  That’s fine, but I worry about him.  He puts himself at pretty serious risk if he spooks a horse that way and it starts kicking.  Anyway, as I let one train of horsepackers past one woman said, unsolicited, “Hi.  You hate the horses, huh?”  I had just been standing there smiling, so I was caught a bit off guard.  I wondered if Cupcake or Apple Pie had said something up ahead of me.  I just smiled – couldn’t think of anything else to do.  The horses passed and I caught up to Cupcake and Apple Pie.  Neither of them had said anything.  I wonder how the woman knew how much we hated the horses?

            We hiked on and came to a bridge over to the area where the Benchmark Wilderness Ranch was at about noon.  We crossed and started walking up the trail to the road.  We came upon a side trail with an arrow made of sticks and a note that said “Efineighs!”  It was from Spur!  We took the side trail about 100 feet to the road, took some photos, and then started walking along the road toward the ranch.  After about 10 minutes a minivan started driving up behind us and we all held our thumbs out.  The woman driving stopped, opened the back and let us put our packs there, and then we climbed in and she started driving.  Her name was Therese and she had just dropped her husband and son off to do a canoeing trip.  During the 2 mile drive to the ranch Cupcake bluntly announced that I was looking for a ride into Helena or Augusta so I could get to an airport, and asked if she had any ideas.  She said her neighbor was going into Helena that day and could take me.  She would drive me back to her cabin and ask and if that didn’t work she would figure out a way for me to get into Augusta and hitch from there.  Awesome!! 

            We got to the ranch and everyone piled out.  I ran in to see if I could get my package.  It was not in the metal bins outside, and appeared to be locked inside the cabin.  The owners were not around.  Looks like I won’t be getting that package.  Spur was in the shower, so I couldn’t say goodbye to him.  I felt a little bad about that but I did not want to keep my ride waiting too long.  I said goodbye to Cupcake, Apple Pie, and Rob who was also there, and ran back out to the van. 

            Therese drove me to a forest service cabin that her family leases, and she pointed out lots of landmarks along the way.  At the cabin I met her daughter Hannah and Hannah’s friend.  Therese gave me some ice tea to drink and then walked over to her neighbors to see if they could take me to Helena.  They were not there.  She talked with her daughter and then she said they were going to go to a nearby resort to see if I could get a ride there, and if not she would take me to Augusta herself.  She has been so helpful! 

            No one at the resort was going to Helena or Great Falls (which apparently is the best place to fly out of), so Therese drove me into Augusta.  Once there I bought them all ice cream and got a GREAT cheeseburger for myself.  Therese gave me advice on how to hitch from there to Great Falls and she found out about options for me to do laundry and take a shower before I tried to get a hitch.  She showed me where to stand and on the map where I would be going.  While I paid she took her daughter and daughter’s friend to have a little “conference”.  I had no idea what that meant, but when I walked out after taking care of the bill she said “Ok, we’re taking you to Great Falls!  No arguing!”  We all hopped into the minivan and she drove me the hour to Great Falls!  People in Montana are really amazingly nice!  And she did all of this for me while I was still gross and smelly for the trail. 

            We got to Great Falls and she dropped me off at a Motel 6 and we said goodbye.  I got a room, called Meryl to have her set up a flight for me to get back to D.C. and am now off to shower!

 

---- NOTE: I am now going to be hiking the 900 miles of the PCT that I missed in 2000.  For info and journal entries regarding that hike see http://shotgunmills.tripod.com/  ----